The Truth About Love
1. It is a distraction to look for Mr. & Miss Right. Mr. & Miss Right are right
in front of us, all the time. The Shakti is all-knowing. The Shakti gives us
everything we need to attain true happiness in the appropriate time. Mr. & Miss
Right is Shiva & Shakti, existing in subtle realms of energy, manifesting continually
in the many forms of physical existence.
2. Our work is to transcend our conditioning, our horoscope sign, or species
sign. Human beings are just like all other animals in that they are born, learn
from their parents, find a mate, procreate, grow old and die. A conscious human
being learns from its parents and that situation, takes in certain information
about the opposite sex, and then develops the energy of the opposite sex inside
to become a balanced being, balanced in the male & the female, a whole human
being. Then that one truly has something to offer in a relationship with another
whether as lovers, friends, partners, parents, etc.
3. What we look for in "love" is a self-satisfaction, fulfillment, and completion.
These are acquired through knowing the Self. Knowledge of the Self occurs through
practice. Through practice, we meet the Beloved within, the one constant friend,
the only thing permanent, which always was, is now, and always will be.
4. When we are attracted to something, an apparent "other", WE OPEN AND EXPERIENCE
THE ENERGY OF THE COSMIC UNIVERSE. By focusing on the physical side of relationship,
we short it out. Romance, adventure, excitement; whatever elements in life constitute
these are short-lived, never constant because they depend on something outside,
an object which is not permanent.
5. What is beautiful to us one day is ordinary the next. Be present with life,
be with it, be in it! If we experience love with a friend and the friend goes
another way, we do not let love go with the friend. Rather, we stay in the experience
of the love we felt with the friend. The friend is the messenger, that one who
reveals the love inside of us. BEING is what is important. Forms come and go
and change colors. Break through your attachments. Make love important. Make
love your concern. Learn to be with yourself in love, rather than to react to
others with attachment which results in jealousy, pride, irritation.
6. To exist in the space of Love means to flow with energy. This requires "trust"
and "surrender". If you can’ t trust that all is perfect as mirror of the Self,
you are afraid of something. Pinpoint your fear! All fears are rooted in the
fear of one’ s immortality. It is not easy to give up control. We think that
we will disappear if we give up control, we will lose "who we are". And this
is true! When we give up control, only the Beloved is left! Give up. Open up.
When you do this, the situation becomes clear and you see the wisdom in what
is being offered. The work then is joyfully and easily done.
7. If you don't know how to love, quiet your mind. When the mind is quiet the heart opens; it falls
8. E. J. Gold: "The moment you lose your concentration of the Beloved that
one is free to escape and will take off! You are responsible to love! You are
responsible to maintain your relationship with the Shakti.
9. When we long to be "close" to the Beloved and we are suffering because we
are not "close", realize that it is not physical proximity that satisfies our
longing. There is no person, no place, we can go. If we’ re concerned about
being separated from the Beloved, we have already separated from the Beloved
and betrayed love. If this tension comes up, surrender! If we can see that something
is other than ourself, then we can surrender that separation and experience
release. Surrender and fee "closer", and continue to expand space in which "close"
can occur until you yourself become ultimate space.
10. If we’re involved in a drama, in our emotions, we have abandoned love. Something
else other than love has grabbed our attention. For the time being drama and
emotions are more fascinating.
11. Love is the action of the hands and feet.
12. Mother Theresa’ s prayer: "Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort
than to be comforted, to understand rather than to be understood, to love than
to be loved, for it is by forgetting the self that one finds, it is by forgiving
that one is forgiven, it is by dying that one awakens to eternal live."
13. Serving the Beloved means being the vehicle for transformation.
Conclusion to Part I & Preface to Part II
1. We must first be single before we will be able to work with a partner successfully.
The work of one is very important. Mother Theresa appears as single. Nityananda
appeared as single. Rudi appeared as single. And there were many others.
2. Lovers love LOVE, not people.
Introduction to Part II
We have an innate interest and desire to be in relationships because the world
appears as two: male-female, light-dark, sun-moon, heaven-earth, etc. We wish
to create, and creative energy is made by the interfacing of the polarities.
We wish to experience ourselves , and we do this through the mirror of the other.
What usually happens in relationships is that we are attracted to someone who
is strong in areas where we are weak. In the state of attraction, we are open
completely to the cosmos and much energy comes into the relationship. We feel
ourselves whole and complete in joining with the other. Then, to protect that
ecstatic energy we have between us, we build a wall around ourselves. Subconsciously
we feel it is "we" against the world. As soon as we do this, we have cut ourselves
off from the cosmic energy. Within the wall only a dualistic view is perceived.
We start to focus on personalities and habits and view the other as good and
bad. When we see good in the other person, our own insecurities come up. When
we see bad in the other person, we experience repulsion. When this happens,
we need a strong cauldron, such as the rules of the Catholic church or the disrespect
of society, to keep us in the relationship so that we have the blessing of time
and old age to relax our preferences and aversions and grow a deep appreciation
for one another. However, when we stay together "till death do us part", we
are focused on death, hanging in there until death, gradually wearing our denseness
away. Our process is negative, and so we cannot go very far on this path. Something
new is needed to work with the mind, some new religion, guru, role model or
way. We need to find something that will contain the energy of a new relationship
and cause it to grow, something to cause commitment and give space in which
a shift in consciousness can take place to bring reality into view.
We have a good foundation for a successful relationship if we first become a
whole and stable single before taking a partner. Then we can bring in the personal
aspect of relationship without losing our center. Together we can manifest the
yab yum deity, the male and female in ecstatic union with the Beloved, and create
something new; the immortal fetus. Then light radiates from our being like the
sun shining out and nourishes everything, and that transformative energy that
radiates from everything touched by our light changes the face of the planet.
This is what sex between male and female offers: energy created between the
two poles of male and female, energy that the two can use to create as God creates
and therefore have an inner experience of union with God the creator and all
Many of us have a clear idea of the ideal relationship but our chances of experiencing
it dissolve when we engage in sex with someone. Everyone loves sex and intercourse.
We are either doing it, thinking about doing it or frustrated about not doing
it. Intercourse refers to the physical level of union, and sex refers to the
inner level. When we’ re focused only on intercourse, our old concepts and memories
of past experience creep in and color the new moment. Our neuroses come into
Men like to find a beautiful butterfly and stick pins in it, exerting their
power and possessive natures. Women like to save men from destruction and then
manipulate them to fulfill their reproductive mission. Men like to use women
as toilet bowls. They build up lots of tension and instead of dissolving or
transforming these tensions consciously, they inject their semen into the woman
and subtly all their tensions with it. Women go around collecting these tensions
and get more and more confused and angry at men. This is a total misuse of sex
which has a divine purpose.
When we are focused not on intercourse but on the sexual energy play of creation
of man and woman and that power in the universe, we have something that will
not only sustain time and space, but continue to grow into infinity. When we
are focused on love, love, lover and beloved are ONE.
In creative relationships, men protect, support and serve women, and women entertain,
delight and serve men, naturally. In this way we nourish one another, and we
get what we need to be balanced and whole together. The secret is to be lovers
of love, to delight in being perfect lovers, to perfect our performance everyday.
In this way we earn everyday the relationship we want so badly. Why should we
have the ideal relationship if we are not willing to be the ideal partner?
Part II: The Lover
1. Marriage is irrelevant in love. No one needs a religious or civil authority
or a set of rules bound by the fear of death to be happy into infinity. All
we need is a heart that always is devoted to service and a relationship with
the Infinite which comes before everything. Then we can be happy into infinity
2. Don't make the mistake of going to sleep in your security of "having" a
partner. The mistake is in the word "have". Rather you enjoy the privilege of
another’ s presence and participation as long as you keep up with your end of
3. Earn your relationship everyday. Create, manufacture love everyday with your
partner, the way lovers do before they are married.
4. Woman chooses man, the strongest man in her field. Man does not resist, rather
flows along with the current. A woman will not stay with a man who doesn’ t
love her. She only will stay with the man who loves her totally, who recognizers
her, who worships her feet. Therefore a man must love his woman unconditionally,
worship her, care for her, protect her and keep her happy. Man is made from
the creation of woman to protect life. His purpose is service. A woman must
know that her man is loyal. When she knows her man is loyal, she gives everything,
her whole being, her deep, intimate, erotic being, her temple’ s treasures.
Without this security, she remains guarded and frozen.
5. A man needs to know that he belongs to a woman. Woman is his ground; he must
belong to a woman. A man's penis is insecure because it is neither inside nor
outside his body. It doesn’ t know where it belongs or to whom it belongs. Woman
must own her man, use her man, encompass her man with her energy. She must tell
her man over and over again that she loves him and she must delight, entertain,
entice and excite him to keep his penis secure. Woman is the fertile ground
for man, his ideas, his dreams, his desires. Woman takes in the seed and expresses
it outwardly in the world. Man’ s seed is the word which he pours into the woman,
filling her until she is full, saturated and overflowing, forever wet with the
words of truth. Through her nourishmen and intoxicating dance, woman draws the
seed out of man and unlocks his inner secret. She must have the awareness, wisdom,
discrimination and ferocity to use his energy according to the purpose of their
union. She must uncompromisingly uphold the truth and put this even before their
relationship. Then he can let go and die in her arms.
6. Give the deep, deep parts of yourself to your partner as love gifts, treasures
or caches. (In the world where the relationship already is perfect, we speak
of treasures. In this world, we speak of your obstacles.) Give these to each
other until your two forms are empty. And then give to your partner, in celebration,
your form on which that Beloved’ s eyes may feast. And watch that energy nourish
7. Through serving each other and the others that we meet, we open our hearts
and quiet our minds, and when our minds are quiet we are able to bring the words
"I love you" into action, we are able to bring imagination into manifestation,
where our inner world and outer world become the same beautiful expression of
our unique beings together.
8. When your emotions come up, when the energy is intensified, this is the time
to love more fiercely, not to focus on the very thing which brings the suffering
and the experience of being separate. Focusing on your emotions only will intensify
the experience. Not giving energy to the emotions will diffuse the experience.
So focus on the other’ s comforts and needs rather than yourself, and love will
9. Between two, moments of pure passion ring the sound of truth. Truth has the
same sound wherever it is. These moment exist forever in a world where there
is no time and space. They form a point on a mandala that when complete forms
our transformational body. Anyone who focuses on this body in any way experiences
energy of the form in the physical body where all the cells are vibrating and
then receives the transmission of the form and the inner secret.
It is possible for a man and woman to come together in the first embrace and
open all the chakras simultaneously.
It is possible for a man and woman to create love everyday and in so doing,
change the world of money, power, prestige and status to a world with unlimited
It is possible for a man and woman to create more love than they can absorb
so that the extra spills over to everything and everybody around them. In this
way, they are creators of heaven on earth. And earth becomes the initiatory
planet transforming the entire cosmos simply by slopping its love juices everywhere.
The secret of love is to remain always in a state of perfect, perfect, perfect
intensity from the beginning, through the middle, and to the end. Mate the necessity
of this intensity to the survival instinct the way the breath is mated to the
survival instinct at birth.
Through uncompromised surrender to the Light of Truth, two are able to experience
the perfect relationship, through which they are given the means to transcend
the apparent world of separation and enter the CLEAR LIGHT.